Apprehension, Fear and delusions

Thats a bit of a weighty title for my blog; but it is needed.
I’ve never hidden the fact that my blog is also my home for some of the thoughts that plague my mind; as well as the voices.

I’ve just moved out from the many years at University and in with my boyfriend. This should be a happy time, and for the most part it is; but there is that lingering horror that is the rest of my life being before me. What do I do now? I have ideas but nothing is ever set in stone. It’s a scary time. Thankfully I have had certain things to read to cheer me up.
One such thing is a carefully written gift from a fellow fangirl about my girl Zindrafel and Alistair in that alternative setting I mentioned a few posts ago. It’s lovely. It really is.
I shall ask permission before I link though; I think they wanted a level of anonimity.

My own workks of fiction are going a little slower, mostly due to the fact that I only just managed to get my laptop plugged in, but I may spend some time today writing as I wait for paint to dry!
Which suggests what else I have been doing with my time, painting.
I am also about due to paint another Templar as well as it feels like forever since I did.

A note on dreams.
Dreams are strange. They bring new voices, or make you question why some are talking to you.
I’ve never really felt any connection to this particular voice before; not in this form anyway.

In this particular bizzare subconcious, the good Doctor and I were good friends searching for something in dear old London. I can’t recall what it was we were looking for; I don’t think we really knew ourselves. It might have been something, or a someone. During our search we came across my real world friends; Zoe and Tim who took great delight in chastising me for never telling them I was friends with Dr. Who.
The following conversation after the introdutions were made and we’d departed their company was rather humorous. The Dr. told me that I couldn’t go around telling people we were “friends” because he couldn’t commit to anything like that; wide-eyed and slightly horrified he assumed that I’d thought something else I quickly denied I meant anything love related; that I was happily seeing someone. We then fell silent. Awkward.
Even my dreams taunt me with awkward relationships!!
(The radio just played the lyrics; “Dreams are the only place left to hide.” I can relate to that.)
It was interesting and very unexpected. I don’t know what I have done recently to deserve a visit from the Dr. He’s not exactly been on TV in this form lately.
Which reminds me of what I was going to mention earlier.
I did used to have a crush on Dr. Who a long time ago; and I can barely remember why or what I thought way back then. Looking on him now this incantation of Dr Who does have some sort of appeal, the whole victorian image is still something that I can admire and find attractive. All I remember from back then was having a poster up in my room.
I am toying with the idea of bringing my illustration/artwork to my blog here. So that there is only one entitiy of Jenn.

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