It’s win or lose.

I think it has been made pretty clear that I am a torn girl. Torn between my fangirly interests. A lot has happened as of late in the world of Game of Thrones and I am regularly plagued by my two men.

Just the other night I had another Varys related dream – nothing quite so hot and steamy as my others, but it felt god all the same. There was some sort of riot going on. Varys was in the crowds and the whole aim of the dream seemed to be to find and defend him, but he thought I was a Turncloak.

I’ve sat down with both my boys and told them that I am firmly a ‘Little Bird.’ I had some fun away, but I am a down right Varys loyalist now. As ever I was.

And then we come to today. Latest episode of Game of Thrones and well… what can I say?
I have noticed a trend, probably not a often reoccurring one as I am no scientist, but as of late the episodes always seem to have Varys or Baelish, not both. So one week I get an instalment of my wonderful eunuch, the next I am rekindled with passion for Lord Baelish. This week with Baelish was no exception. I even find myself strangely fond of creepyshipping (Sansa/Baelish) even if it makes me feel a little uncomfortable at the same time!
What’s difficult is actually fingerling over someone who can’t and won’t return any of the sentiment. What I mean is… Varys will never, ever grab my imagination and lead it away to those dark, deprived places that sometimes we all like to hide in for ten minutes. Mostly because my mind is actually pretty canon. I don’t like to force sexuality onto characters that do not want it. Varys doesn’t. Yet I still cling to some glimmer of hope for him. Love =/= sex. Asexuals can be lovely and romantic but… I don’t see that in Varys either.
So, can I be a Varys loyalist, dreaming impossible dreams of equally impossible romance. Or am I allowed to play away and flirt with Baelish while my Lord isn’t looking.

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