At times.

I really don’t like myself.

I have this horrible habit of getting easily addicted to things. For a long time now I have had an attachment to the game Furcadia. And while I like it as a game because of it’s pixelly artwork and anthropomorphic characters, I find myself struggling with it.

It’s essentially just an online chat room where people create their own elaborate rooms (called dreams) and roleplay together. You can create your own dreams and even host your own custom avatars on there. It should be all very good fun. It’s filled with great artists and wonderful people. If you can find them!


I’ve been on the game now for many-a-year and seen a lot of changes with the place. Mostly the introduction of avatar upgrades and the likes; but there is one change lately that’s not been so good. A dwindling player base. Which is rather important for the whole roleplay thing – having active people to roleplay with – so generally I just sit about on my own thinking up new character I’ll never get to use or browsing dreams I’ll never get to play in.

While I am on now there are currently 629 players online. From what I can tell most of them are AFK or idle. Just like me!


It’s a real shame really, because I have a lot of fond memories of the place, meeting a bunch of great people and roleplaying a lot of fun stories with them. It just seems that seeing as I am on GMT I’ll very rarely get to meet anyone active on there any more, let alone meet anyone that would actually like to give roleplaying a chance.

There is an update to the game in the works. Yet it’s been an in the works update for so long now I think a lot of players are even losing faith and possibly interest in this as well. By the time it comes out there will only be less than a handful of people left to witness it!

I actually feel a bit sad about it. Furcadias been a stable part in my life for a long time and I enjoy seeing all the portraits and reading about characters and stuff, but it seems like it really is over. Theres no point being on a game with no players. No matter how pretty it is!

So what does this have to do with me not liking myself?

The fact that I keep going back to the game trying to find something I feel I am missing in my life.

Why bother going there when I can just write my own stuff instead?

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